I know I promised before pictures in this post, but I’m going to have to postpone that for the post that follows this one, because I just got off the phone with my urologist and it wasn’t a good conversation.
I made the decision to call my urologist today to ask about the possibility of having a partial circumcision or preputioplasty instead of a full circumcision because of my reservations around getting a full cut and the significance of such a procedure.
When I started to say the words “partial circumcision” he actually cut me off to tell me that there’s no such thing. I know this is untrue, but I also know that some people consider any foreskin removal a “circumcision”, so I decided to push back and mentioned that I had read about preputioplasty in medical journals. I asked him if he’d ever heard of the procedure. He told me that he hadn’t. However, he then told me that preputioplasty was strictly a cosmetic procedure.
How a urologist could never have heard about a procedure, but know something about it escapes me. It doesn’t make sense. He proceeded to take control of the conversation and somewhat rudely told me that if I wanted something like the procedures I was talking about, I should go see a plastic surgeon and that it wouldn’t be covered by my insurance. “If you’re having a problem with your foreskin, you remove it. That’s it,” he told me. I asked him if I had any say in what style of circumcision I’d be having and he told me that he removes whatever he has to.
The worst part, though, was the veiled threat. He reminded me that I can retract my foreskin when I’m flaccid and proceeded to tell me that my problem is minor and that I couldn’t expect special treatment. I really felt like he was trying to tell me that my surgery is purely cosmetic. He totally downplayed the issues I have with my foreskin and made it seem like the procedure could be revoked at any time if I asked for too much. After all that, he asked if I wanted to cancel the surgery, because “once you’ve been cut, you can’t go back”.
I decided to hedge my bet by keeping the appointment. Here’s my dilemma: if I cancel the surgery, I have to find another urologist who can perform a preputioplasty for me. If I cannot, then I’m forced to go with a full cut. It took me almost a year to get this appointment, so who knows how long it would take to get a new surgery date? In that case, I will have wasted a bunch of time. In keeping the appointment, I’ve given myself approximately 5 weeks to find a urologist who can do a preputioplasty and if I cannot, then I still have a functional penis in a timely manner.
So I’m very much committed to a partial cut at this point and I will have to do a serious search of urologists in Ontario to find one who won’t treat me rudely, deny me my bodily autonomy, and/or threaten me. If I can’t find one, then I’m forced to go for a full cut, as I cannot afford any cosmetic surgery.
I’m quite frustrated at this point; this represents another difficult layer in an already very difficult situation. But I know I can handle it and I’m determined to do so.